Sailing to the best pubs in the South of England. After a wonderful lunch spot is discovered in Gosport Dave pays a tribute to his dear son Joel who passed a...
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what's the plan left of April basic
weather I had to scrape frost off the
car in Whitchurch Hampshire this week so
that was unexpected but it's up to eight
degrees here on the Bierly now a lovely
lovely day week before Easter is that so
I think the plan today is maybe explain
to you to watch us but we are gonna head
down to gospel get on the light ship for
lunch and I've got IRC questions about
how you nearly lost your boat and your
life and why you ate food there last up
with no clothes on so that's basically
yeah for the day there might be a story
there no there's no sounds like or might
there is a story there and it will be
told in all its graphic detail so know
there is most definitely a story there
and there's no bite about it that story
is gonna come out at all this graphic
detail
yep
we'll tell you about this later by the
way but the reason we haven't been
talking much lately is Dave lost his
beautiful son Joel just before Christmas
39 years old
38 died of cancer took him very quickly
and he was a most amazing human being it
showed us how to live life and he showed
us how to die like a man
with faith so we'll tell you about a
story a little bit later on we will
so here's the plan we'll get out of
Beauty River hang a left and head
towards Gil kick a point the wind is
from the east today about 8 to 10 maybe
11 knots so we'll probably have to tack
all the way there
once we reach Gil kick a point we'll
take the North swash way to Portsmouth
Harbor entrance once inside the harbor
will head for Haslam Arena to their
visitors pontoons where there's a really
interesting light ship restaurant
viola
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but the environment you're in is
stunning you boy you're up they stood up
with you yes it was bizarre when you sit
here you get the movement of the boat
unexpectedly but you got hms victory got
ports with victoria got current naval
vessels but south sea powerful is just a
wonderful view there you should turn it
into this is such good food in here
don't you think what do you think
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honestly this has got to be up there but
i love the creative way they've made
this new deck oh look at these we have a
tapas is stunningly stunningly tasting
really good Dave while we're here I know
I shouldn't bring this up but could you
explain why last time you came here you
had no clothes on and also why you
nearly lost your boat and lost your life
and cut your hand
nearly enough these food is magnificent
no I'd rather not note you will talk
about it of this channel
August II is valued its prized come on
don't hesitate it was January I remember
it well
he went there I still remember it what
it was really cold cold January day and
I came I thought I come here and check
this place out it hadn't been done up
then so it's much better now than it
know that story please stop waffling
procrastinate know you're preparing stop
interrupting me and we'll get home you
came and they'll kick a point on my own
decided to get the boat ready bow line
attached fenders out as always I tend to
put a centerline out strong strong wind
that day blown off the visitors pontoons
nevertheless perfect entry as usual eyes
you'd expect perfect arrival excellent
boat handling and it really isn't it
come on yes yes you are so real those
young back you are so reluctant it's
close get on with that come on tell them
what happened so I was pretty much on my
own yeah in terms of no other boats on
the visitors book live jacket on by the
way no I had a harness on yeah and I
came along so beautifully stepped ashore
on to the pontoon
grab the centerline and I hadn't
attached it to the moment because I was
sailing in I hadn't dropped it over the
over the winch hand over the winch at
the time so still using the winch so as
I stepped off I'd pull the boats now
been blowing off and I pulled the
centerline it just came up in my hands
and it was now three or four feet and
going
quickly out into these it was a stolen
it would have gone it was heading out of
the heart marina I love the way you say
this so car but with your arms folded as
if you're protecting the truth come on
in the tree yeah tell me how I
remarkably situation I think it was my
fault
whoa not suggest anyway I jumped for it
all right I just didn't know what to do
I know what about I jumped from the
pontoon onto the boat so here's the
pontoon there's the boat what's
happening the boat is drifting away you
all stood on the pontoon I have to think
really quickly I don't know the area I
don't know what I could run round will
the boat make it to the other side which
is quite a long way will it drift out of
the marina on the wind which could only
holding a lovely piece of me yeah yeah
yeah and the boat is now drifting away
from you see you how could I splice the
iron No so we talked about how you made
this dissolution job for the boat so I
jumped for it and I nearly made it I did
I was left hanging by the lifelines my
new Dyneema lined up so my batteries
just ran out so I need to be quick now
so I'm hanging on the lifelines with my
waist and below in the water yeah you
were saying no we are your factory
preparation prior planning prevents
performance anyway your battery readout
and you were hanging let's just remember
though I'm intrigued well the way as our
viewers will be what happened to the
poor little warp that was being pulled
off your boat and onto the pontoon
anyway would come to them well you were
well so anyway Lord in this boat and
you're hanging my father died in my life
I got onto the I got into the tow rail
about eyes turn red my foot was on the
tow rail and I was reaching for
something I had sort of blow
I ended up like this then I heard a
voice behind me I'm drifting away like
this and I heard a chat saying can I
help you Mike
and I looked I remember looking around
and I'm not sure I think I could do it
somehow yeah and then he said I don't
know what to do yes I see he was on a
boat with his daddy what was sobering I
could not pull myself up
well where were you middly at the boat
neither the boat yeah if that had
happened in a sea way you are not
getting back on board well no you're in
a you know precarious position one leg
up on the tour Oh No yeah I'm down I
think that this couldn't pull myself up
you could only get one leg up on the
tour oh yeah and then what the only
reason I got up is because I understand
I'm rash and lat wrap my legs around one
of the fenders to give me a few more
inches to get a call myself on back
without funding so did you pull them
down while you're still drifting okay
where's your question
so anyway obviously I'm soaked from the
waist down so I stripped off everything
put my wet weather what they called the
celica Salopek so me I came in here and
I did it commandos and what about your
cheese wire Darrin II made guardrail and
herb Raiders that was painful my hands I
bruises in Scotland I don't know what it
was like hanging onto cheese why Wow and
the point that you were I know you were
actually joking apart really sobered
about was the difficulty of getting back
on very difficult no chance and was that
just because you were shocked or just
literally almost pretty calm about it
and I was my hope was in a good place
just physically couldn't you know when
you see Ed was in a good place
I said yeah your head that BB collected
the spring that you were using onto your
back my father would say but time I drop
a sales came into the harbor I turn
around
drop
I forgot about yeah exactly that's right
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so forth um talk about your boy yeah
so they tear up native the reason we
stopped do these for a while was Joel my
son eldest son I got four kids through
left on this planet and I think what was
the last time Joel bet you and me on
this boat in Judah didn't do well you're
on your own yours and we moored up
together and set Alya yes I remember yet
another miscalculation by your goods
yeah you got over the part I didn't
yelling right so we we we met up with my
son Dave had some guests on board it
happened to be a friend of my son who
lives up lived up north and was down for
a few days and it was just one of those
serendipitous meetings old friend of
Joel's my son and I know dave was
posting them on board another story for
another day
but they've nearly lost this family out
it's safe it's a great story I can't
believe we've never done that one that
was serious anyway that was July last
year 2018 and Joe was very healthy then
we had an amazing couple of days and I
look back at that with both fondness and
a certain critical questioning air
because we saw three peregrine falcons
off the force in fact it was horse and
fought in July 2018 which Joel had never
seen before he seemed Peregrine's but
never in the Solent and never three
together so that was unique in that same
day coming up the bewdley river we had a
seal that for about 20 minutes stayed in
our wake Cool Runnings way never had
that before
said certain 15 years of saying so it's
memorable for lots of reasons but in
September he started feel a bit unwell
and october/november began for really
quite a while and then finally in
December was diagnosed on the 10th of
December with terminal cancer is lower
intestinal tract and died on the 20th so
our family nursed him for those 17 days
24/7 but also the month or so of
treatment before on and off as a family
we were able to be with him his wife and
his two children and help him through
that peer he was incredibly brave that
any dad would want to say that about the
son but I do say it he was thought full
thought less about himself thoughtful
about everyone around him it all sorts
practical ways making sure that wife and
his two children my grandkids were well
looked after making sure the business
was in good hands and all the pros and
cons of him leaving this planet were
well thought through but just so caring
caring towards his wife and Daisy and
Jacob his two kids towards Jill and me
his mother dad and his siblings and his
friends extra ordinarily courageously in
that dying process so that's why we
hadn't been doing videos for quite a
while I've started to write I am a doll
so we and talked about that before but
it's part of what I do and I have found
those books particularly difficult
I suppose because of the trauma the
shock the brutality
the cancer and the treatments and the
misdiagnosis by the elements of the NHS
that didn't work well for him I guess
all that adds together and has made it
rather difficult so today's the first
day but now April the 11th he died on
December the 20th where I can even talk
about it to Canberra
one of the things with Joel was his it
was extraordinary in life and he was
totally extraordinary in death I've been
a church lady pastor for most of my
adult life and I've walked through a lot
of bereavement and dying experiences
with families with friends and I think I
can just say he was totally
extraordinary in his death as well and
his dying as he was in life but he just
loved to create memories every year he
and Daisy my first granddaughter who
will take a week out on Cool Runnings
that would spend a week together dad
daughter and granddad and I said to my
wife Justus we'd we were out for a walk
and I said just so thankful that he
would always put those dates in the
diary wouldn't exactly force me but he
would gently coerce me to make sure I
didn't miss those dates or fill those
dates with something else constantly
building memories so for 18 years every
year Daisy heard that Joel and they were
out of the boat for a week what a great
stack of memories so that's obviously
just one of many many memories his son
well-founded faith was very important to
him any if Christianity feel like is a
way of life and a way of death isn't it
yeah and he demonstrated how to die like
like you should yeah as well as live
like you should I mean an example in
both I think he was an example
is it the cat the body that's like is
this Worr pike holy big that's not
connected to my vote a war that I hold
it that's not connected to my boat so
it's got a question isn't it yeah and I
don't want to be superficial or
patronizing with this stuff either it's
it was interesting he recorded I think
around 18 or 19 audio messages for all
or some of the family and I was curating
them recently putting them into Dropbox
so that the family could access them
when they wished he became the most
extraordinary Amazon customer in his
last fury he only bought and he bought
gifts for the kids and gifts for his
wife and gifts for his mum and dad and
gifts for everybody he must have spent
hours in his hospital bed thinking of
things things that would create memories
and things that were lastly yeah things
that they would need that practical
things toilet roll he just ordered bulk
loads of toilet rolls so his wife
wouldn't have to think about that sort
of trivial thing over the weeks post is
there it's well remembered so those of
you watching this you've been through
any grief forgive me because this will
be old hat to you but for those that
have not yet been through substantial
grief there are a little bit like tides
there are absent flows to the grieving
process and he died on the 20th
Christmas of course on the 25th of
December and we had a house full I don't
exaggerate the hallway to this house was
piled from floor to ceiling with boxes
from Abbas and the Joel had ordered
while he was still sick in hospital it's
interesting I don't have many regrets
personally about the dying process but
this is one I did tell him off for the
amount he'd spent and the volume that he
was buying but wished I had now because
of Christmas day each of us had a pile
of presents from what would be our son
our father our husband our brother the
kids excuse me the kids managed to open
the bulk of theirs
Joe his wife couldn't really go there
that day
I still have one substantial gift left
which I will save till Father's Day dad
said so yeah he was incredibly
thoughtful one of the more well I say
one of the more there were lots of
hubris gifts but there was this one box
load of things I couldn't work out what
it was turned out to be a light that you
stick into the ball bowl of your toilets
will he go up to do your way this like
huh in multi colors variable colors so
that was one of his last laughs on us
all well we think about him every day
give thanks for it
yep sorry enough yeah signing off
heretofore looking for a first or entry
it's those big moment of redness compare
another so we share just a new hybrid
fairy then to the other white
strange-looking thing
by the way Dave gave a most inspiring
talk at Joel's funeral if you'd like to
hear it we'll leave a link in the
description below
you
you
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